My Only

He appeared seemingly out of nothing, though I know he appeared from my dreams.

Formed and delivered of hope.

My belief that he existed, and that soon he would be here.

Beloved, the names I called you while waiting.

The thoughts I had, while missing arms I had not felt.

Tears rebuked because I would not allow them to fall.

Would not allow their tracks to lay a path to doubt and unbelief.

I knew you were coming because you had to come.

Not that I wouldn't have lived without you,

Or couldn't after you.

No, my hope was not borne of desperation.

It was simply implausible that the hope poured into you would net no result.

Unthinkable that it should be in vain.

There were times when breathing, I smelled you,

In my dreams I felt you.

When other men wanted to lay claim, a voice whispered, wait.

To which I would respond, hurry up.

I have missed you so that words don't exist to convey how much.

There are not colors vivid enough to paint the pain of loneliness.

I can't touch you enough to grow bored.

Can't gaze upon you too long to be satisfied.

I missed your eyes capturing mine,

Missed the way your hand strokes my brow, your lips caress my heart.

Missed your skin dancing under the pads of my fingers.

Missed the smell of you on my clothes, my body, my bed.

I missed your ring weighing my finger.

Missed you.

Now you are home.

Now we are home in each other, formed perfectly for each other,

A fit that would work with no other.

Some days I wonder how I functioned without the pieces you bring to my life.

Quite simply and irrevocably, I love you.

Was in love with you before I knew what in love meant.

Before I knew what boys meant to girls, I knew that somewhere out there,

My best friend was waiting on me.

The one who could look upon my out there thoughts and actions,

Smile and say, that’s my baby.

The one who could love me without embarrassment or apology.

With a purity that runs clear and pure, like a stream,

Bringing two peas to the same pod.

I know it sounds fanciful, but I feel like Rapunzel waiting for ages to be rescued from my tower.

Now that you have found me,

I want to dance and sing and laugh.

With you.

I want to do everything I never did, with you.

I want to pull you in close and hold on,

Secure that in my arms is where you want to be.

Confident that I am home to you and you are to me.

I could wax poetic all day,

Go on, singing odes and composing sonnets,

Dedicated to your lovely eyebrows and distinguished hairline.

I could write an epic which length would not begin to encompass what we are to each other.

But I digress.

My heart steady, my breath a whisper,

I relax in your embrace,

Content to imagine us fifty years down the road in just this pose.

My sigh whispers out,

Breath feathering your face.

Your arms tighten around me and I’m safe.

Just like this, in just this way, I give over to my only.

©Pamela Shropshire 2011