Work "Friend"

I recently went through a series of changes at work that have placed me on an emotional rollercoaster. Let me say now, I despise change. I like to have my routine. In addition to my routine, I like having a “home”; a place at work that is mine and mine alone. Some of the changes I’m facing not only mess with my routine, but my nest is also being disturbed. I feel so like an orphan, begging to be adopted. That is not a position I relish being in.

I can admit that there were choices, decisions, I made that led to this upheaval, and still I wang. (Wang is an expression I use to express a severe case of ire and vitriolic expression of same.) So, in the midst of this change, is the loss of some work friends. This, more than anything, has caused a majority of my discomfort. My direct supervisor is a rock star. She is so wise about so many things that have helped me to grow as a person and a leader.

There are also quite a few auxiliary relationships that have made coming to work more enjoyable than it has been in quite some time. I work in a call center with several hundred different spirits and personalities that can try a person daily. Next week, I will find myself tossed into the lions’ den once again hoping to make friends with beasts. Times like this make me want my emergency Snickers in the worst way!

I have been on edge all day! Vacillating between tears, anger and indifference. In my role, all I want to do is help people, but I want to help the lions I know, not these new ones. But alas, I will. I love helping people, especially people who have a desire to learn and be helped. This made me evaluate the oxymoron that is “work” friends. A work friend, using the true definition of the word is a rare thing indeed.

Most work associates are very fickle, meaning, out of sight, out of mind. Still others are fake, having never truly liked you in the first place. These “friends” are just adept at making the best out of a bad situation. These are easier to move on from, because 9 of 10 times, they have allowed their façade to slip enough that you saw who they truly are.

It is very rare to find someone you work with who after the co-worker relationship ends, the friendship continues. I have a few friends that I no longer work with. I believe what makes us work is that we both want to continue. There is no desperate one sided clinginess, which can be both embarrassing and annoying.

So anyway, I’m moving on to a new team and a new project. I will be brave and evaluate my work relationships accordingly, working very hard not to become a stalker. I’m good at that. I have real talent for it. If you’re only pretending to like me, BEWARE. If I like you, I will try to be there for you, do little things for you, as a friend. Until that day comes when I realize its one sided and you realize I’m not worth the perks. As no one likes being used, I hope I discover this before you get tired of getting friend perks from me.

Will keep you posted on how this story turns out. Stay tuned.